Songs By Jericho
by Sunny's Priceless Dream
Summary: Jericho has plenty of songs about his co-workers.
1. Undertaker's had the time of his life

**A/N- **Oh how I have missed writing Jericho. This is the beginning of the song parody story. A few notes before I start: **1.** Each chapter is a new character and song. **2.** There really is no plot to any of them. **3.** Suggestions and song/character requests are accepted in reviews. **4.** Some _(most)_ are dumb and barely make sense.

Reviews are welcome and appreciated!

Song used: I've Had the Time of My Life

* * *

The rumors had been spreading for months; the Undertaker didn't have a lot of time left as an in ring competitor. Everyone felt sorry for him, because they knew how much wrestling meant to him. No one had the guts to ask Taker' questions about his pending retirement though. It was never brought up in conversation. The news that one of his last feuds was going to be with Jericho came as a little bit of a shock. As long as both men have been in the WWE, they have never wrestled each other.

It was the Tuesday of their first match that everything went downhill. Jericho and Taker' put on a hell of a good match, and everyone congratulated them. Jericho stood up in front of everyone in the locker room at the taping was over and pulled a piece of paper from his pocket.

"Undertaker, we all know you are retiring. In fact, we all know how you should have retired like twenty years ago, but something stopped you. You wanted to wrestle me. I'm your hero, it's a known fact. I understand you are going to try and wait until after Wrestlemania to leave. After all, you want to wrestle me on the grandest stage of them all. Either way, I want you to know that you are welcome for that match we just had. Now, as a goodbye present, I wrote you a song." After Jericho finished his long speech, everyone sat there speechless. No one talked to The Undertaker that way. No one. Everyone wanted to glance behind them to see his reaction, but were too afraid.

"It's still a little rusty. I mean, you can't expect me to write a hit song and perform a five star match all in one night."

"Just hurry this up Jericho. We want to get some sleep tonight."

"Shut up assclown. Go make sure your brother didn't overdose." Matt Hardy quickly shut up.

_Now you've had, the time of your life  
No you've never felt like me before  
Yes I swear it's the truth  
And you owe you it all to me_

_Cause you've had the time of your life  
And you owe it all to me  
_

_You've been waiting for so long  
Now you've finally had the chance  
To wrestle me_

_You saw the writing on the wall  
As you felt this magical fantasy_

_Now with retirement in your eyes  
There's no way you could disguise it secretly  
Now you're desperate to wrestle me  
And I understand the urgency_

_Just remember  
I'm the one thing  
Fans can't get enough of  
So I'll tell you something _

_This could be your last match because_

_You've had the time of your life  
No you've never felt like me before  
Yes I swear it's the truth  
And you owe it all to me_

_Cause I gave you the greatest match of your list  
And you've searched through every open door  
Til' you found your greatest opponent  
And you owe it all to me_


	2. Jeff Will Survive

**A/N- **Here we go again. Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter. I think you'll like this one....it is....more better...than the last one!

**Reviews appreciated!**

**Song used: **I Will Survive

* * *

It had been almost three months since that fateful day. The day that Jeff Hardy was arrested for drug possession. His most loyal fans knew there just had to be more to the story. His ex co-workers didn't believe it for a second. They all knew what he was like. He was a druggy. They all knew it was only a matter of time before he was caught. No one believed the news that he was set up. No matter how much Matt preached his brother's innocence, everyone was skeptic. No one would mock Jeff in front of Matt though, that was disrespectful. But then there was Jericho.

The Smackdown crew was out at a bar after a house show, and they were all feeling the effects of the alcohol they were drinking. Everyone was having a good time when Chris decided to to sing them a song.

"This was written from the heart. We ALL know Jeff is innocent. This song should ease all your minds."

"Chris, is this necessary?"

"Matt! I am trying to prove how your poor, poor brother was set up. Now, shut the hell up assclown."

_First he was afraid  
He was petrified  
Kept thinking the police were going to find him  
With the drugs by his side  
But he spent so many nights  
Thinking how someone set him up  
He grew strong  
Sitting in that jail cell  
And now he's back  
From the Cameron County jail  
Matt walked in to find him there  
With that sad look upon his face  
Said you should have changed your stupid lock  
I should have made you leave your key  
If he had known for just one second  
Someone set him up, oh can't you see_

_Someone put that package at his door  
And then turned around  
Cause they didn't love Jeff, anymore  
He didn't even get a chance, to tell his brother goodbye  
You'd think he'd crumble  
You'd think he'd lay down and die  
_

_Oh no, not him_

_He will survive  
As long as he knows how to hide  
I know he will stay alive  
He's got all his life to OD  
He's got all his life to give a guilty plea  
_

_And he will survive  
He will survive _

_It took all the strength he had  
Not to fall apart  
Kept trying to hide the drugs  
That lay in his house  
and he spent oh so many nights  
just feeling sorry for himself  
He used to cry  
Unable to hold his head up high  
_

_But now you can see him  
And tell that he was set up_

_He's not that chained up drug person  
Still in love with the cocaine  
_

_He no longer expects it to be dropping in  
And expecting him to be free  
No he's saving all his time waiting for bail  
Making memories with his cellmate Dale_

_But Jeff will survive_

_He will survive _

* * *

A/N- Sarcasm? Anyone?


	3. Codiasi's Paradise

**A/N- This will definitely not be the last song I do about Cody. He's just too easy. **

**Reviews welcomed and appreciated. **

**Song used: Almost Paradise**

* * *

It was no secret. Everyone; the fans, producers, cameramen, their parents, Vince, the other wrestlers, all saw how they were with each other in the ring. Cody was constantly all over Ted, who never did much to get the younger man away from him. Ted was married, and Cody was rumored to be dating Beth Phoenix, but most people were starting to wonder if that wasn't just a cover for their relationship with each other.

They shared hotel rooms together, traveled together, ate together, wrestled together, shopped together, and even went ice skating together once. Sure, they have been friends since childhood, but you'd think they'd get sick of each other after a while. Everyone wanted to ask them about it, but no one would. They were considered respected now, since they've been there over a year, and a lot of the guys were younger than them. Plus, Randy defied anyone to speak of Ted and Cody's gayness.

But he never said anything about singing about it....

"Guys, gather around." Jericho made everyone gather around him.

"It's now officially 2010. If we can't accept homosexuals being in this business in 2010, then when can we?" Chris began his speech.

"Who's gay?" Young, naive, Primo questioned.

"Ted and Cody." Everyone let out a small snicker, and turned to stare at the duo who were standing in the back of the room.

"Chris! We aren't gay!" Cody tried to reason.

"Cody, it's okay. Here's a song I made about it. You two can be open about it, all because of me."

_I thought that Cody belonged to other men  
Cause' each time Ted got close, he'd pull away again  
I feared Cody's heart would beat in secrecy  
He faced the nights alone, oh how could he have known  
That all his life, he only needed Ted_

_Ohh almost paradise, Cody's knocking on Teddy's door  
Almost paradise, how could he ask for more?  
I swear that I can see forever in this eyes, paradise_

_Cody thought that perfect love was hard to find  
He'd almost given up, Ted must have read his mind  
And all those dreams Cody had  
He'll share them all with Ted, whose finally in his bed  
Cause now they hold the future in their hands_

_Ohh almost paradise, Cody's knocking on Teddy's door  
Almost paradise, how could Cody ask for more?  
I swear I see forever in their eyes, paradise_

_And in Ted's arms, true love is never far away  
It's getting closer, closer every day_

_Almost paradise, Cody's knocking on Teddy's door  
Almost paradise, how could they ask for me?  
I swear I can see forever in their eyes, paradise_

_Paradise_


	4. Hey, Hey, John, John, I don't like you

**A/N- **_And....I'm back. New year, new song, same Jericho. This could possibly be the most ridiculous one out of them all. You be the judge. _

_Reviews welcomed and appreciated. _

**Song Used: **_Girlfriend_ by Avril Levigne

* * *

They had a new reason to celebrate this week; Edge was back. Everyone was excited when Raw ended, because they knew it wouldn't take long for everyone to get shitfaced. And it didn't. By midnight, everyone was tipsy, and Cody was rubbing against a protesting Ted. They were all so drunk, they actually cheered when Jericho took the microphone that had been unoccupied since they've been there.

"Cena! I wrote you a song." Chris's words were slightly slurred, but they could understand everything he said.

"Give it your best shot." John challenged, nursing his fifth beer.

"Every shot is my best shot, Junior. Now shut up." Chris signalled for the music to start and everyone chuckled when they heard the beginning tunes of the song. After almost tripping and falling off the stage, Chris began his song......

_Hey, hey, John, John, I don't like your wrestling skills  
No way, no way, I think you need a new move  
Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your trainer_

_Hey, hey, you, you, I know you're jealous of me  
No way, no way, you know it's not a secret  
Hey, Hey, you, you, Vince's paying me to train you_

_You're not fine, that belt is mine, I'm so delicious  
I think about it all the time, I'm so addictive  
Don't you know what I can do to make you wrestle well?_

_Well, well, well_

_I don't think you could be any lamer_

_And so yeah, I'm a hey, hey future hall-of-famer  
I can tell you're jealous and you know I'm right  
I'm right, I'm right, I'm Chris! _

_John's like so whatever  
Any wrestler is so much better  
I think he should retire now  
And that's what everybody's talking about now_

_Hey, hey, John, John, I don't like your wrestling skills  
No way, no way, I think you need a new move  
Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your trainer_

_Hey, hey, you , you, I know you want to be me  
No way, no way, we know it's not a secret  
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm right._

_I'm right, I'm right, I'm Chris! _


	5. Lisp of an Angel

**A/N- This. Is. Utterly. Ridiculous. **

So, I know I just did this person(s) not long ago, but this song wouldn't leave my head when I thought of him.

Reviews welcomed!

**Song Used:** Lips of an Angel

* * *

Everyone makes assumptions. Everyone jumps to conclusions. Everyone thinks they are right. The minute Legacy unfolded, a rumor was spread: Cody and Ted broke up. Of course the rumor was started by Chris, but since he had told everyone for months that the two younger men were dating, everyone believed him.

"WADE! WHERE IS THE GUITAR?" Everyone stopped what they were doing in the locker room to stare at the crazy blond man. They were all praying for one thing.

Not another song.

"Right here. I'm ready." Wade eased his mentors mind, and sat down on a stool a few feet behind the microphone. The guys all assumed it was for a promo that was going to be shoot later in the night.

"I have prepared another song, at everyone's requests." Chris ignored the groans from around the room. Cody, however, smirked. He was ready for this one. Chris already got his song out of the way. He was looking forward to see who was next on the list.

"This song is based on a conversation I had with two young lovers who are going through some trouble. Without a doubt, it will reconnect the two." Everyone immediately thought of Drew and Tiffany, who were currently taking a break.

"This person called me the other night, and this is what was said. Enjoy." Cody paled at the first line of the song.

_Cody, why are you calling me so late?  
It's kind of hard to make fun of you right now  
Cody, why are you crying, let Ted make it okay  
I gotta whisper, cause I can't be too loud_

_Well, my belt's in, the next room  
Sometimes you wish you wore it  
I guess you never really moved on_

_Ted says it's really good to hear your voice, saying his name  
It sounds so sweet  
Coming from the lisp of an angel_

_I guess you two never really moved on. _

_Cody, he never wants to say goodbye  
But Ted you make it hard for him to be faithful_

_With the lisp of an angel_

_Cody it's funny that you're calling me, tonight  
Because Ted has called me, too.  
Will he mind that you're talking to me? _

_Will it make him jealous  
I know you both, want me_

_Well, my belt's in, the next room  
Sometimes you wish you wore it  
I guess you never really moved on_

_Ted said, it's really good to hear your voice  
It sounds so sweet  
Coming from the lisp of an angel_

_Lisp of an angel_

_Lisp of an angel_

"Chris! That is not what was said! I called to..." Cody trailed off, no one was listening to him anyway.


	6. Kick Your Ass All Night

**A/N- **Ah back with another installment of Jericho's Songs! This one was based on rumors I have read recently.I'm finding it hard to come up with songs that most people would know, so suggestions would be great.

**Song Used: **Rock and Roll all Night by KISS

**~!~!~**

The rumors seemed to be true. Batista was finished with the company after the Extreme Rules pay-per-view. There were all kinds of stories making their way around the locker room that no one knew what was true and what wasn't. The biggest rumor was that Batista was angry that his movie role went to Hunter. But rumors of his retirement have been going around for months. His in ring work has deteriorated so much that his matches were hard to watch. Not that they were ever that great to begin with, but now they were just unbearable.

"I guess that's why they put Cena over him at 'Mania." Cody whispered, making sure no one but Ted heard him.

"Yeah, Cody, that's why they put Cena over." Ted rolled his eyes at his friend while pulling on his trunks. He didn't have a match tonight, but they told him to be ready just in case.

"Would you two shut up? It's obvious that Batista is leaving because of his jealousy of me."

"Chris…"

"Which is why I wrote him a song to show him that there are no hard feelings on my part."

"You probably shouldn't do that, Chris. I seen Batista earlier and he looks agitated." Randy joined in on the conversation.

"Randy Orton! I am Chris Jericho. I'm not scared of Mr. I Get Injured From Walking To The Ring.

"Fine, then by all means, sing your song. Now is your chance, everyone is gathered in catering." Chris literally jumped from his seat and took off running towards catering; only stopping to yell at Wade and tell him to grab his guitar.

The three men formerly known as Legacy followed the crazy blond. By the time they reached the cafeteria, Chris already had everyone gathered around, with Batista sitting on a chair in the middle of the crowd, looking less than pleased.

You show us everything you used to have  
You keep on wrestlin' and the arena gets mad  
You drive us wild, we'll drive you out of this company  
You say you wanna go and retire  
The party's just begun because you've been fired.  
You drive us wild, we'll drive you out of this company  
We keep on shoutin', We keep on shoutin'

I wanna kick your ass all night and laugh about it every day  
I wanna kick your ass all night and laugh about it every day  
I wanna kick your ass all night and laugh about it every day  
I wanna kick your ass all night and laugh about it every day

You keep on saying you'll be gone for only a while  
You're lookin' foolish and too old for that style  
You drive us wild, we'll drive you out of this company  
You show us everything you've got  
Batista, Batista, that's not a lot  
And you drive us wild, we'll drive you out of this company  
We keep on shoutin', We keep on shoutin'

I wanna kick your ass all night and laugh about it every day  
I wanna kick your ass all night and laugh about it every day  
I wanna kick your ass all night and laugh about it every day  
I wanna kick your ass all night and laugh about it every day


	7. If Jay Can't Have Adam

All it took was one picture for the rumors to spread. No one knew if it was Mack, Kait, or Jericho who found the picture and showed everyone, but by the end of the week, there wasn't a person in the company who hadn't seen it.

"Do they realize it was over twenty years ago?" Jay sighed, rubbing his head. He couldn't put up with all the jokes. They a little _too_ close to home.

"Don't worry about it. It's been a week. No one is going to remember it." Adam had witnessed some of the boys get ridiculed in the past for something, and it never lasted long.

"Hope you're right." Jay dreaded the moment the other men walked through the dressing room. He knew the taunting and teasing would resume.

But as Miz, Ted, Cena, Randy, and the others all filed into the room, none of them said anything cruel to Adam or Jay.

And then Jericho walked in with a guitar.

"Fuck." Jay swore. He knew what was coming.

"Gather round', folks." Jericho ordered people around for a few minutes, before talking.

"Now, as you all know, pictures are worth a thousand words, but songs last a lifetime. So I wrote one. It's about two lovers of years passed. But in case you need visual aid, here's a picture." Chris put the picture of Adam and Jay up behind him.

_Don't know why, he's surviving every lonely day  
When there's got to be, no chance for Jay  
His life would end and it just don't matter he he'd cry  
Jay's tears of love, a waste of time, if Adam turns away_

_Is he strong enough to see it through?  
Go crazy is what Jay will do  
_

_If he can't have Adam, he don't want nobody baby  
If he can't have Adam, ah hah hah ahhh  
If he can't have Adam, he don't want nobody baby_

_Jay can't let go, and it doesn't matter hoe he tries  
He gave it all, so easily to Adam my love  
To dreams that will never come true  
Is Jay strong enough to see it through?_

_If he can't have Adam, he don't want nobody baby  
If he can't have Adam, ah hah hah ahhh  
If he can't have Adam, he don't want nobody baby_


End file.
